“Children are apt to live up to what you believe of them.”

Lady Bird Johnson, U.S. First Lady 1912-2007

The above quote was written by the American First Lady over 100 years ago, but there is no doubt that the wisdom central to this idea was understood long, long before that. (And just a little aside, its not only children, but adults, teenagers and elderly who are apt to live up to what you believe of them).

Back to children, and connecting this whole idea to play, real play…

We so often worry about our children, for a myriad of reasons- If their not walking by a certain age, not saying enough words, not listening to you, worrying they don’t have any friends or not confident enough, not resilient when they can’t have what they want or they can’t manage a task. But in this worrying, we are inadvertently telling them that we don’t have faith or believe in their capabilities or resilience. To really prove this point, think back or imagine that someone close to you was very worried about an aspect of your life that you were challenged by. You would instinctively want them to encourage you, support you and have faith in your managing, overcoming and growing. We must afford this same faith to our children even in the smallest of ways.

It’s wonderful to engage in and share rich discussion with your child about their play and experiences; but do you find yourself micro-managing your child’s day, their relationships and communication, their emotions and even their thoughts and feelings?? a way to counteract this is to remember that children will most often learn how to manage, deal with and act on their experiences by literally doing and practising it themselves. And the most successful way for this to happen is through their play. Real play!

When children play together, they learn how to navigate complex social scenarios, which cannot be managed or solved by adults. They learn rejection and how to be accepted again; they learn how to care for others, how to be confident, how to co-operate, navigate and share not only toys and activities but teachers and their friend’s attention. Again, this cannot be learnt by adults telling them and teaching them how to do it. Early childhood teachers witness these intricate skills developing in every child every day when children are free to engage in real play.